Bribe Yourself Into Adulthood
Tidying, dreaming, and eating
Hello everyone. I hope you’re having a lovely week, and taking good care of yourselves. If you’re worried about Thanksgiving, or chores, or anything else, take a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy these recommendations for random things. Hopefully some of it will make you laugh and feel better.
Recommendations
Recommendations aren’t sponsored. A fun way to sponsor me is to get a paid subscription to this newsletter, like the other winners out there!
“Lockdown Was Our Romantic Bubble” - Writing for Modern Love in the New York Times, Zhengkun Hou spins a tale from the other side of the world that felt achingly familiar to me here in New York City.
Limiting comments on Instagram, just because you feel like it - HIGHLY recommend doing this. I do it whenever I simply don’t give a shit about anybody else’s written reactions to my posts on SaraJBenincasa and Excellent Coats on Irritated Women. Usually I’m interested in the comments. But certain posts bring in boring, annoying trolls, and nobody pays me to be a goddamn 1998-era SYSOP. I do not have the time. Therefore, I sometimes limit comments. It’s fun! Try it!
Meditative Story - Have you ever listened to this podcast? I really like the Michael Imperioli and Randall Park episodes, among various others. It’s on all your pod platforms, to my knowledge.
More from the production company: “Meditative Story is a first-of-its-kind podcast listening experience that combines the emotional pull of immersive storytelling with the immediate, science-backed benefits of mindfulness practice. Meditative Story is a WaitWhat original series — created by the team who built and led TED’s media organization, and supported by its members.”
I shall say no more…for now.
Sam’s Indian grandma’s chai recipe - A grandma recipe!! We love recipes from grandmas!
Pinterest - I’ve decided to reward myself by using this digital playground. I “earn” twenty minutes on Pinterest after an hour of writing (read: thirty minutes of writing interspersed with thirty minutes of drinking water, peeing, drinking coffee, peeing, stretching, eating carrots, stretching.).
As I continue to clear out the excess from my abode, I’m getting into interior decor and design. It’s amazing what one can suddenly find fascinating when one makes progress in sorting through the remnants of a 675 sq. ft. one-bedroom, a 1500 sq. ft. condo, and decades of memorabilia from one’s parents’ home.
Then, of course, there’s the fun (I mean this, seriously) challenge of organizing what’s left from the other places into about 510-ish square feet of space (I don’t store things on my little balcony or in the mechanical closet, though I’m very grateful to have both!)
I moved in about 1.5 years ago, and for the past month have been getting down to business with sorting, death cleaning, decluttering, tidying, KonMari-ing…it’s amazing what clearing the space can do.
I did put some contact wallpaper into an online cart yesterday. Then I thought better of it and switched it out with a bulk load of bamboo toilet paper. Sometimes I make sensible choices.
Miss Flo Discusses Her Grandma - I really am quietly in love with her grandmother, honestly. This is so sweet and kind. Bringing joy to your grandparents while they’re still here - pretty cool.
Georgina Johnson’s home in South London - I love this. I love that she adores her neighbors and their garden. I love that she feels her personality change when she wears something bold from her (mainly vintage or secondhand) wardrobe.
The Slow Grind: Finding Our Way Back to Creative Balance - Georgina’s book!
We the Urban - A very helpful Instagram account.
The timer method for decluttering: Sometimes I treat myself like a child and bribe myself into tidying. I attach entertainment to the experience, and a reward at the end.
Here’s how I did it last night: as a reward to my future self, I put my excellent turkey chili in the toaster oven to reheat for twenty minutes. As entertainment for my current self, I set the audiobook app timer for twenty minutes.
With two timers going, I tackled the task: going through my cosmetics. Did I really need an expired Covergirl redness-reducing green face primer from 2018? (No).
Did you know that cosmetics expire? They do! In fact, you can often smell a weird, plastic-y odor once they’re past their prime.
After twenty minutes, my timers went off more or less simultaneously. Then, because I hyper-focused on the tidying, I just keep going. Hooray! I did take the turkey chili out so it wouldn’t burn. I ate it standing up, and then got back into my cleaning hobby.
Trisha Yearwood’s baked apple recipe - My own version includes adding rolled oats, but you do you. This will make your home smell like the world’s best candle.
The Remarkable Life Deck: A Ten-Year Plan for Achieving Your Dreams - Debbie Millman’s classroom exercise has evolved into a wonderful tool. I did some of it yesterday and some of it today. If you want to use it to bond with friends or to supply some fuel for your journal, meditation, or therapy session, I recommend it. I learned about it from
From the publisher, Chronicle Books: “Debbie Millman has led a remarkable life and has had an extraordinarily productive career: She has written six books, spearheaded the world's first graduate program in branding at New York's prestigious School of Visual Arts, and hosts Design Matters, one of the most popular design podcasts today, for which she has interviewed nearly 500 guests over the past 14 years. Her award-winning and influential work is renowned in the world of design, and she is excited to help others achieve their dreams and define success on their own terms.”
**
Writing Tips:
You’re always welcome to email me a question at saratoninnewsletter@gmail.com. Don’t be shy (or rude). We love boundaries. Out of respect for yours, if you ask me a question, I’ll assume you want me to keep you anonymous unless you tell me otherwise.
Dear Sara:
How do I schedule time for my writing when there are so many other things I could be doing? I want to make time to write my novel so that I can submit it to agents, and hopefully get it published. But I’ve got kids, pets, a job, and household chores. I don’t live in a big town with lots of coffee shops or places to write/hang out. Even when the kids are at school or occupied, and I know I could take thirty minutes to write in my living room, there are so many other tasks that need doing. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Scattered, Smothered, and Covered
Dear Waffle House Enthusiast:
Please remember, first and foremost, that you are scattered, smothered, and covered…in His Grace. (This will be funny to three people, and I’m not even sure I’m one of them.) Anyway, your Higher Power probably affirms the power of hash browns and DEFINITELY affirms your creative talent!
You don’t need to write all the time, or even write good shit, to be a writer.
But you do have to write.
That can be ten minutes a week! That can be outlining a chapter on the back of a napkin. That can be using the kids’ erasable bathtub crayons to write a line on the tile wall (with no swears, duh) at bath time.
Not all writers sit down every day, every week, or every month to write. I suggest reading
to learn more about different artists' methods for getting their shit done.However, since you probably have a fairly regular schedule with the kids and work, I bet it’d help to start your week with a plan for a ten minute writing sprint. Where can you fit that in? Put it in your planner or calendar, and stick to it.
This doesn’t have to mean typing on a laptop. You can even use the talk to text function on your phone, or write with a pen in your little notebook when you’re parked at pickup or drop-off. Writing while on the toilet? AN ICONIC CHOICE! I have done it myself.
A little notebook that fits in your purse or backpack is ideal. Make sure you always have it, plus a pen or crayon or pencil, when you leave the house. Writers are terrible at having writing utensils on hand. I have no idea why. I am this way too! But if you need to hang a pen next to your key hook by the door, do it.
Make sure to keep your storytelling/scribblings in an easy-to-reach place. Maybe you’ll write a novel ten minutes at a time over a year. What’s more likely is that you’ll get your brain in the habit of generating ideas, and this will lead you to want to do this for longer stretches. You will find, magically, that you’re suddenly able to prioritize, say, thirty minutes of writing per week.
Perhaps you’ll even invest in an online workshop to keep you on a deadline. The need to do your “homework” may keep you going, creatively!
When writing becomes more important to you than certain other tasks, it will move up in the hierarchy of your habits. Rest assured that your health and that of your family should and will always come first. But maybe the garage cleanup can wait.
Start small. You can do it.
***
Essay: Something Something Just For Paid Subscribers & Patrons
I’ll send this separately soon.
Thanks for being here. I appreciate you. You help me pay my bills and live my life, and that is absolutely invaluable. I don’t take it, or you, for granted.
Love,
Sara
Thanks for the shoutout, Sara! Definitely agree with your advice about starting small, building up a writing habit, and looking into deadlines/accountability. Wishing Waffle House Enthusiast the best!