Greetings from the Uncanny Valley of 2022
Cardiology, COVID, Cats & Emily in Paris
Hi everyone. It’s Dead Week, as I saw somebody call it the other day, and that feels about right. It’s quieter than usual in my neighborhood, and a little eerie. Some of the New York City tourists have gone home; within a couple days, more will arrive for the annual Times Square celebration. It is a bit of an uncanny time, not just here in my city, but for many of us around the world, I think. A little odd, you know?
At my second cardiologist visit this week, the office manager/telemetry tech told me that she and her friends are joining a big group that will start running from the base of Central Park at midnight on New Year’s Eve. They’ll complete a four-mile path and end up at 110th street, where her friend will meet them with Champagne.
I will not be running. But I have to ramp up slowly to a regular exercise schedule, apparently. Based on what he’s seen so far, the doctor thinks my heart arrhythmia was just the typical COVID heart symptoms and not indicative of any greater problem. They’ve decreased as my other symptoms have waned.
My close relatives have benign murmurs and other NBD heart situations, and I’ve had a bing bongs/rumbly tumblies/random arrhythmia since I can remember. Happens a few times a year. Does not hurt. No shortness of breath. Just a little…off. COVID probably just made it happen way more frequently than usual, as it does for some people, and now my heart is settling back down.
However, the stress test showed that I am out of fucking shape. Thus, he prescribed walks. Or swimming. Or moderate to vigorous yoga.
As I refuse to join a gym and gladly sold my Peloton, I am looking forward to whatever the hell I come up with. But I have to go slow. And so do you, if you’re just recovering from COVID, okay? Let’s be careful.
A premature Happy New Year; a current Happy Kwanzaa; a belated Happy Chanukah and a slightly more belated Merry Christmas! My Christmas was fairly relaxing, and I was and am full of gratitude for many things, including your presence as a subscriber.
If you’re a free subscriber and you’d like to support my work further, please do consider a paid subscription. Alternately, there are cheap options over at Patreon. You can always order a ridiculous, silly, fun fake psychic reading from me for you or a friend via Cameo. And, finally, here’s my wish list of various items.
If you’d instead like to donate to a nonprofit, please consider Miry’s List or RAICES Texas. Thank you for your generosity this year. Let’s move on to the recommendations and advice!
Recommendations
This article about how you shouldn’t jump right back into exercise after COVID - Give it a read. It’s good stuff. Send it to your dad or uncle or cousin Diandra or whomever is starting up their Jazzercise habit again far too quickly. It’s best to ease into these things. COVID affects the heart, lungs, and everything else. Go slow.
Emily in Paris - This bonkers Darren Star production is now in its third season on Netflix. I binge it with my parents every season. Jeremy O. Harris is just one of the many standout guest stars. The cast are uniformly great. Just an absurd show that knows exactly what it’s doing and telegraphs nearly every move before it occurs - except when it manages to surprise you.
I wish I were in this writers room, because they do the most and then more than the most. It’s so silly and fun and addictive. Guess who else loves it? That’s right, the enthusiastic runner who was also my telemetry tech. Also, last year she camped in the Sahara one night. What I’m saying is, this person is cool.
If you’re from a Christian family, skipping church if you don’t want to go to church - Love that. Keep Christ in Christmas and your ass at HOME relaxing and watching Emily, who is in Paris, exactly like Sartre, who is quoted in season 3 (Jean-Paul is gonna resurrect himself over this one!!!!)
Wearing pajamas all day - I have ones with Winnie the Pooh on them. Wearing comfortable pajamas and sipping a warm beverage is like cool church, honestly.
“Earth He Loved Reclaims Him” - This may or may not be behind a paywall, but holy fucking shit, this 1914 Los Angeles Times obituary for conservationist eco-hero John Muir has the most beautiful headline. The subhed (yes, for some reason that’s how I was taught to spell it) is gorgeous: “John Muir, Apostle of the Wild is Dead.” Now would I have added a comma after “Wild”? Of fucking course, but I assume the editor in question is also extremely dead and so we shan’t have the conversation.
Along with my dead celebrity boyfriend and big hero, Frederick Law Olmsted (In 2020, I wrote an essay about him called “Fred and Me”), John Muir was responsible for many of our nation’s greatest parks. Muir leaned toward the wild and Olmsted toward the orderly, but both were an important part of preserving open spaces in an increasingly urbanized and suburbanized country.
Neither one was perfect, trust me. But I think that, on balance, they did a lot of good in the world and inspired future generations of environmentalists.
Watching when your cat is just really relaxing (also applies to dogs etc.) - Role models for us all.
Glass Onion - This movie is ridiculous and I enjoyed it a lot. I had so many wrong guesses! Anyway, I’m glad I’ve got the screenplay to read now to see what I missed along the way. Janelle Monae and Daniel Craig, you will never not be famous.
Dollywood - I couldn’t go with my mom and friend because I had RSV in October, but they went anyway and got much swag. Apparently it’s great.
A quasi-English country village that lights up at night but also during the day if you want and it’s inside your house - Honey, I’ll never NOT be a supporter of this decor choice. What are the imaginary people inside these homes even doing? We can’t know and we won’t know but I like to think they are happy.
Taking your cat somewhere else when you’re worried a pipe will freeze and burst in your apartment because of weather (also applies to dogs etc.) - Do this if you can.
Writing Advice
My advice this week is to make art that isn’t writing. Of course, stick to your writing schedule and projects and deadlines. I’m not saying to not write. I’m saying that I am advising you to also make art that is not writing.
Also, if you don’t need to write this week and don’t want to, don’t do it! But do make something else.
Got it? Excellent. I have anticipated a few questions, of course.
Can it involve songwriting? No lyrics! Composing music is totally fine and good.
May I take photographs? Yes.
May I paint something? Absolutely, as long as no text is involved.
But what if I’m painting a scene that involves a tiny shop with tins of candy? And the tins of candy have labels on them? May I paint the labels? Not if they have fucking writing on them, dammit!
Does a sculpture count? Of course.
What if it’s made of toothpicks? I’d say it counts double.
I don’t ordinarily draw, paint, compose music, sculpt, or choreograph site-specific dance pieces set to the entirety of a late ‘90s Erykah Badu album. I write. Why are you telling me to also do non-writing things? It is good to experiment with other forms of art just for fun. One might even call it play. If you’ve decided writing is your thing, there’s less pressure on you when you create other kinds of art.
We want to put less pressure on you. We want you to put less pressure on yourself. Also (and don’t tell your controlling writer brain I said this) playing and having fun with clay, crayons, mud, or musical instruments will inevitably improve your writing. Don’t ask me how. It just will.
Take good care this season and always.
xo
Sara