Let's Take A Dream Vacation Together
We're in our luxury era, you and me!
Look, these are wild times. Unions across industries are going on strike. It’s hot and humid in much of the United States. And I just had watermelon juice mixed with lemonade mixed with matcha.
In other words, I’m the closest I, a sober person, get to being high off a substance.
That means it’s time to go on AN IMAGINARY VACATION, baby!!!!
I love imaginary travel. It’s sort of like dissociating but less sad and never unpleasant. Here are my top five imaginary vacation ideas for us (you, dear reader, and me). Feel free to select your fave and explain why we are going on this trip, in the comments.
Alternate option: Make up your own trip for us to go on (you simply must include me) and tell me more in the comments! Keep it clean, these are platonic friendship trips and yes, you may bring your family, but only if they are cool!
Vacation 1: The Alhambra, Granada, Spain
I can’t tell you when, why or how I became obsessed with this fancy architectural bitch called the Alhambra. I just know that at some point in childhood, I decided this thing was fascinating and magical. Let’s learn a little more from the Encyclopedia Britannica:
Constructed on a plateau that overlooks the city of Granada, the Alhambra was built chiefly between 1238 and 1358, in the reigns of Ibn al-Aḥmar, founder of the Naṣrid dynasty, and his successors. The splendid decorations of the interior are ascribed to Yūsuf I (died 1354). After the expulsion of the Moors in 1492, much of the interior was effaced and the furniture was ruined or removed. Charles V, who ruled in Spain as Charles I (1516–56), rebuilt portions in the Renaissance style and destroyed part of the Alhambra in order to build an Italianate palace designed by Pedro Machuca in 1526.
Did you fall asleep? Same. Anyway, its name is Arabic for “the red” and you and I are going there in gorgeous yet breathable all-red outfits like total weirdos. We will be staying nearby at a very fancy and benevolently haunted, solar powered, romantic and stunning AirBnB. We will be extremely comfortable in our four-poster antique beds with very modern, sustainably made mattresses.
We will have many snacks.
Vacation 2: Disneyland
Now, before you have a panic attack, keep in mind that we’re going to Disneyland, the smaller, cuter, kitschier one that’s not, I repeat not, in fucking Florida. This vacation takes place during an imaginary time where the unions aren’t on strike because of being fucked over by major corporations like Disney.
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