PSA: Adderall is Not for Pets
Plus, a CONTEST!!!!
You know what? Life is about lessons. And here’s one lesson I just learned: CATS LIKE TO EAT ADDERALL.
I’ll share more on THAT in a moment, but for now, here’s your table of contents.
1.) Cats are drug fiends and sometimes so are dogs
2.) CONTEST!!! (Contains spoilers for Succession and other HBO programs)
Cats are drug fiends and sometimes so are dogs
Recently, my cat spied with her giant perfect green eyes a wee blue tablet of prescription ADHD medication. I watched, confused, as she sniffed it. I assumed she would move along to something else, like plastic, which she enjoys chewing on and spitting out for God knows what reason.
But no! She definitely tried to eat the pill! I had to do a full intervention! It was giving after-school special on the dangers of PCP to a young Helen Hunt!
Obviously I staged an intervention and took it away!
At this point, she fixated instead on murdering a bug, which felt more appropriate.
I couldn’t imagine what was so appealing about something that certainly didn’t smell like chicken, was definitely not a bug, and also wasn’t my hair at 4 a.m. (these are her favorite things to chew on, besides plastic). So I did a Google. And fellow readers? I was NOT PLEASED.
According to PARC, a fancy Fort Worth, TX vet/boarding chain, “The flavor of Adderall has proven to appeal to the finicky feline palate. And that's bad, because a single 20 milligram capsule could kill the average size cat.”
These cats are trying to pop pills without a prescription?! I had no idea! Thankfully, even if she had taken this pill, it was only 10 mg and likely wouldn’t have murdered her stunning 14 pound frame. BUT. You never know what will happen to the large adult cat you adopted during the pandemic, so you must be careful.
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Adapted from the Fort Worth people, here are some other things you should lock up real good and far away from your pets. Never let it be said this newsletter is just about random audiobooks I like and how I would have for sure done sex with a young or, let’s admit it, old Logan Roy!
Xylitol can cause a sudden drop in blood sugar or even liver failure in dogs.
Pharmaceuticals for people, even aspirin, Tylenol® or NSAIDs, like Aleve® are to be avoided.
Weed, babe - Once my friend took her dog to live in a beautiful seaside town in Mexico in an AirBnb that had previously been occupied by party people. She and her dog were quiet, kind, and she (my friend, not the dog) spoke Spanish, which got better during her time there. She worked from home and greatly enjoyed making friends in the community. What an ideal new neighbor! The landlord loved them, especially after the previous weirdos had made so much noise.
BUT! The former tenants had left some party favors around, and the tiny dog ate so much hashish that she almost perished. The dog survived and thrives to this day, but it was a harrowing and, needless to say, expensive situation.
Flowers of the Lily family (for cats) - The only person we want to die and rise again on Easter is Jesus Herself. Watch out for those spring bouquets!
Chocolate (especially for dogs) - See above, especially around the holidays.
Fertilizers that contain organophosphates and/or carbamates - no idea what those are, but they don’t sound great.
Rat poison - Nobody can sing “Somewhere Out There” when they’re dead, and while that was a duet by mice, my point still stands.
CONTEST!!! (Contains spoilers for Succession and other HBO programs)
If you aren’t up to date on SUCCESSION, I get it. Skip ahead. Episode 3 of Season 4 has been endlessly covered on The Internet, but as somebody who still hasn’t watched The Wire or Barry except the pilot or the hit film 9 to 5, I am familiar with taking one’s time to enjoy pop cultural content.
If you haven’t seen all of GAME OF THRONES, WHITE LOTUS, SOPRANOS, or AND JUST LIKE THAT (which I didn’t watch, but whatever), also skip this part.
So just scroll down to the end instead, okay?
Here we go.
It has come to my attention that not a single one of you has yet drawn or Photoshopped a collage of Logan Roy, Tony Soprano, Oberyn Iberian Martell, Tanya Whitelotus, and Christopher Moltisanti high-fiving Jesus in HBO Heaven. You may believe these characters should be in HBO Hell, but that is reserved for Mr. Big.
If you make a memorial tribute image, pastiche, painting, sketch, or collage of Logan Roy, Oberyn Martell, and one to five other HBO characters hanging out with Jesus in HBO Heaven and send it to email@example.com or DM it to me at Instagram.com/SaraJBenincasa, you will be in the running for one (1) free signed book from me.
I will cover shipping, of course.
Here are my books: AGORAFABULOUS: DISPATCHES FROM MY BEDROOM; GREAT; D.C. TRIP; REAL ARTISTS HAVE DAY JOBS. (Feel free to buy them! Option them for film and TV! Tell your friends and lovers!)
Pick the one you want and let me know with your submission. I will pick either the best art or the worst art, depending on my mood. There will be one (1) winner.
This giveaway has no actual rules and you can submit multiple entries. The deadline is whenever I decide, which I probably won’t tell you.
Succession on HBO - Watch all of it, unless you are the type of boring person who has to like all the characters you see on your television. I am personally obsessed with Colin, the bodyguard who is sad. I want to gently brush his hair and tell him he will be okay. Then I want to send him to therapy.
CeraVe - You know what? This shit really is good daily moisturizing lotion. I have used very expensive things and very cheap things and middle-price-point things. This is fairly affordable and quite effective, methinks.
Support Emily’s List - “Today, the Florida Legislature passed, and Gov. DeSantis is prepared to sign into law a cruel and dangerous near-total abortion ban. If allowed to go into effect, this ban will push reproductive health care and bodily autonomy even further out of the hands of millions of Floridians and more in neighboring states, impose burdensome restrictions on access to care, and pose an imminent threat to patients and medical providers.”
According to Emily’s List, “We need to highlight the Democrats, activists, scientists and more pushing back against these efforts. In Florida, that’s leaders like Minority Leader Fentrice Driskell, FL Senate Democratic Leader Lauren Book, Rep. Anna Eskamani, and many more.”
I’m a volunteer member of the Creative Council at Emily’s List, and I hope you’ll join the fight for reproductive healthcare access for folks across the country. Check out the website for more info.- I just think it's a good idea to read what writes. I was supposed to go to her recent NYC book event and couldn't make it because I wasn't feeling well. But I look forward to reading her new book!
Notes on Substack - Notes is a new space on Substack for us to share links, short posts, quotes, photos, etc. I guess subscribers won’t receive an email when I share a Note, which is good thing, since it’s built more like a Twitter (but not gross, why are you still over there anyway?) or other short-form type of platform.
The Audio Letter, my podcast only on Patreon - Here’s the first April episode, Grandpa Benjamin Franklin. Patrons get four episodes per month. It’s very chatty and conversational, and sometimes includes writing prompts, meditation, random anecdotes, and more. It only exists on Patreon.
That’s all for now. Have a great weekend!